This week a friend asked me about how clarity can be found in chaos.
My answer was Surrender, but not in the way you might think...
In the not so distant past I made a move from Florida to N. Carolina with my boyfriend. He had been offered a Producer's job with a local news station there. It meant taking a chance (I was in my 40's) but I would be closer to my oldest daughter and so I went. Long story short - he lost his job a year into the move and I was not working at that time. Three of my four grown daughters had come to live with me and it felt like life was going to hell in a handbasket. I was beating myself up for somehow manifesting the situation and I even railed at the Universe. I actually screamed! "Show me what I'm doing wrong!"
Here's where things get interesting... within 24 hours of that frantic cry for help - a calm, peaceful 'knowing' settled over me. I felt really good. I knew that everything was going to work out. I surrendered it all to the Divine. Surrendering was not in my nature (still something I struggle with...lol) so this was BIG.
Outside circumstances declined. Money ran out. My boyfriend could not handle the fact that I was happy and not worried about the future. He packed his things and took the only car we had (and all of the remaining money) and he left to return to FL. Rent was past due. I STILL couldn't bring myself to worry. (What the heck?!)
The day after he left - a miracle came...a Best Selling author that I had emailed with a glowing review of her latest book - emailed me. We talked on the phone and it turned out she needed some remote admin help. She wanted me to be her personal assistant. She immediately sent me a retainer that was not only enough to settle my debts, but also enough to rent a truck, load our things and return to FL. How crazy is that?!
I went on to work for her for two years and during that time I gained some essential tools and knowledge that I use now in my own business. I also began to embrace my life purpose - to help others Heal.
I've often reflected on that time in my life. I know that I learned something invaluable through the experience. I realized some time later that there were so many factors involved. One of my four daughters who came to live with me while I was there (she had left a difficult relationship) met a young man 6 months before I moved back to FL. When I left - she opted to remain there and I now have another amazing grandson (Connor) that I celebrate every day.
The Divine works in such magical and inspired ways!
Yep, great chaos, lots of drama, change, AND a gift (or two) from the Divine. I learned that when you surrender it doesn't mean conceding defeat or that you are being complacent about your current circumstances. It means no longer fighting, hiding and resisting. You can be happy - NOW - knowing that the future will take care of itself.
That said.... I experience these moments less frequently than I'd like. lol I'd love to experience this kind of knowing every day. I still worry. I still fear. I still question myself, judge myself and even occasionally holler at the Universe.
Oh My! But I do it less. I remember this amazing experience and others like it. I smile!
I hope my sharing this experience will help you to remember that surrendering is an essential part of life and Healing. Embracing where we are and choosing Joy. Now. It all opens the door to amazing possibilities!
Supporting you on your journey,