It was a typical Florida winter day - drizzling rain - just enough to make the roads slick -when my car began to hydroplane and went into a spin! I didn't panic...
I kept hearing a voice in my head saying, "Go with it".
So I steered into the skid and smoothly escaped a serious accident. If you've ever had this experience then you know the only way to gain control is to go with the skid.
Later in the day as I was telling a friend about the skid I realized that it was a very accurate analogy for life - especially during times of increased stress. (Anybody thinking "I'm stressed" raise your hand!)
When we encounter unexpected change, surprise, stress or difficulty we often react with resistance, dismay, anger and frustration. It feels like we have somehow 'lost control' of our lives. I know I have felt this way several times in the last few weeks and it took my car going into a skid to remind me that when we move with the flow - we take back control of the direction of our lives.
Below are a few tips to help YOU go with the flow:
“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them – that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” - Lao-Tzu
TIP #1: Get Perspective - This always helps me. I get upset over something happening — my car breaks down, my microwave explodes — and then I take a deep breath, and take a step back. You know how you’re watching a movie and the camera zooms away and you can see much more of the world on the screen then you could before? How it goes from closeup to a larger, panoramic view of things? That’s what happens in my mind’s eye.I call this the long lens. I start to zoom away, until I’m pretty far away from things. Then whatever happened doesn’t seem so important. A week from now, a year from now, this little incident won’t matter a single whit. No one will care, not even you. So why get upset about it? Just let it go...
TIP #2: Baby Steps, Baby steps - Don’t try to become a Zen Master overnight. Don’t bite off huge chunks — just bite off something small at first. So make your first attempts to go with the flow small ones. This is where I bring the lens back in and narrow it to one situation. I call this the short lens. Focus on breathing. Then try to get perspective after you breathe. And you might try the easier situations first — if your work problems are easier to accept than your frustrations with your kids, for example, start with work.
TIP #3: We Can't Control Others - Ah, one of the biggest challenges. We get frustrated with other people, because they don’t act the way we want them to act. Maybe it’s our kids, maybe it’s our spouse or significant other, maybe it’s our coworker or boss, maybe it’s our mom or best friend. But we have to realize that they are acting according to their personality, according to what they feel is right, and they are not going to do what we want all of the time. And we have to accept that. Accept that we can’t control them, accept them for who they are, accept the things they do. It’s not easy... it takes practice. You can do it!
The world is beautiful, just as it is. Life is not something static, but a flow of change, never staying the same, always getting messier and more chaotic, always beautiful. There is beauty in everything around us, if we look at it as already perfect.
As always..., be gentle with yourself. Don’t beat yourself up because of what you feel or don’t feel… or about what is happening in your life. Embrace it all and know these experiences could very well be the key to releasing blocks and moving into a more balanced state!
I'd love to hear from you so please leave a comment below or give me a shout through the Contact page!
Supporting you on your journey,